Biker's Diary

  

A strange thing happened last week,a guy came up to me and asked 'Dude,why don't you write  your blogs anymore ?'..My initial reaction of shock was quickly replaced by a pleasant surprise and i asked.'Dude,u seriously read my blogs'..
'Yes,i do,they are kinda funny'..
KINDA FUNNY..so cool...that's the greatest review my blog has received ever since i started...the previous good review i received was when one of my friends asked 'Ye sab kaha se copy karta hai' literally translated('From where do you copy this stuff')

This incident inspired me to write this post..I had only one thing in mind and that was to get home and update my blog,nothing really mattered anymore..I received a call from my latest crush asking me to hangout with her..to which i arrogantly replied. 'Bitch Please! I have a blog to write.'..Totally Kick ass feeling.!
Well to be frank,that last thing dint happen..i just wanted to make dramatic start to this post.

Well..lets get started..This isn't going to be one of those posts where i make jokes on Justin Bieber or Twilight,i have grown as a person,i know as a mature human being i should refrain from such stuff..I am more mature than before and now i have a moustache to prove that..I kinda think with my moustache i look like Marc Anthony,yeah there is some resemblance.

Marc Anthony (How i think i look like )

So last month i decided to buy a Bike,It was a spontaneous decision,it just came to me..i should buy a bike..Well there were some issues at first..The fact i dint know to ride a bike,was one of them..convincing my friends to let their bikes for my learning pleasure was the second challenge..Finally after 4 weeks of practice i can proudly say 'Bike chalana aata hai' literally translated ('I know how to f*cking ride a bike')..

I discussed with my dad how we should buy a bike..to which dad replied..
'Why do you need to buy a bike,we already have an Honda Activa'
Me : Dad,in case you haven't noticed yet..i am a guy,i even have a moustache now and i kinda look like Marc Anthony and we guys ride bikes.
Dad : Who's Marc Anthony ?
Me : Lets not change the topic now..i want a bike..i want a bike.
Dad : OK..OK..You decide the bike and we'll talk about it later..and yeah trim the moustache you are just a pot belly away from being a Malayalam actor.

Deciding which bike to buy is a very tough job,It's kinda like wedding shopping for girls,you want something which suits you,makes you look good and something which you can flaunt while with friends..

Finally after after careful scrutiny i have i now decided to bike the most  Legendary bike of all,i won't name the bike here,i am a bit superstitious,not my fault when you are a Malayalee you are bound to be bit superstitious since young..Well the new bike has every quality i was looking for..it looks great,makes me look tall and unlike my ex girlfriend makes less noise..

i won't go into the technical specifications,because frankly even i don't know them...the only reason i am buying a bike is to showoff and be the cool guy..and speaking of cool guy i think i need to shave off my moustache because if i hear my moustache makes me look like Mohanlal,i am gonna kick some major ass.

Mohanlal(How people think i look like)  

PS : I know i don't update this blog quite often,It's not like i have forgotten about this blog..I am just to lazy to type.

Single Guy Talking

So I'm back..It's been quite a long time since i have been here,my blog feels like a zombie land..I need to update this blog quite often and i think about it every day but since 'inspiration is a
bitch',it doesn't come easy.

So many things happened since the last time I was here,

RA.One released and God saved us from the over exposure of SRK.
I know it's too late for RA.One jokes but seriously at one point of time..i even saw RA.One promos in my dreams.

'Why this Kolaveri Di' apparently is the new flavor of the season,i don't realise what the song is all about,but bowing down to social pressure the song made it to my play list.,After all Dhanush is Rajnikant's Son in law..this was bound to happen.

So some quick updates about me,I am still single,so any single girl reading this blog,you have your chances,may be we can be soul mates.,i don't know whether this sounds funny or desperate,but i don't
really care.

The other day i was laying on my bed staring at my ceiling and that's when i realised something,a
voice in my head said 'Dude,you have been single for a long time.GET OUT!' and whenever my inner
voice starts any sentence with the word 'DUDE',i take it very seriously..So i get up and stand in
front of the mirror and frankly speaking even i dint like what i saw..i hadn't shaved for weeks, my
hair's all messy & i am wearing a T-shirt with 50 cent on it..F*ck i have been single too long.

My ex dumped me two years back & i have been single ever since,apart from the breakup phase which
lasted one month..i never had the need to be in a relationship..i can't let my heart go through the
pain of breaking up once again..Cmon whom am i kidding

Ever since my breakup things have been different,Earlier when i saw a hot girl,i would like..'DAMN!!
she's hot..i should ask her out'..now when i see a HOT girl the reaction seems a bit different..its
'OH! a hot girl,i would like be her best friend,i want to be the friend she calls in the middle of
the night to discuss her problems,i want to be the guy who she takes out shopping and talks about
her prince charming'

Last week i went shopping with a girl and for some odd reason i liked it,i helped her select a new
bag and new sun glasses and now when i think about it,it was me who was having most of the
conversation with the guy at the bag store while my friend just kept looking.Something during my
evolution as a guy went terribly wrong.

Am i becoming a girl.?
I don't think so,Since i still hate the color Pink and still think Twilight is GAY!

The worst thing about being single is the sympathy that you get,I don't need your sympathy i just
need a girl who has a sense of humor and probably one who uses deodorant ,that's it..i am not
demanding,is it too much to ask for..?A good girl who understands my jokes and doesn't smell.

On the other side,I will start shaving once again..trim my hair,use hair gel(this stuff actually
works) and try to get on the right evolution path for a guy..try to be bit more masculine...so girls
 don't expect me to come shop with you,I'll start criticizing Justin Bieber, make jokes on
Twilight(especially Edward Cullen) in an attempt to be more of a guy.

I could have kept going but i will have to stop now..Gossip Girl is about to start,Guess there are
somethings which can't be changed.!!


PS : Single Girls reading this blog,Go Ahead ask me out!

Send this to 14 people...truly works

So I am back,Yeah it's been a while...i had to take a break,i dint go hitch-hicking on a trip to find my   true self...i was just lazy...layyyzzzz!!..So the Good News first..I am a Graduate now..feels GOOD,really GOOOOD...finally I get an opportunity to look at books and smile..and I would like to thank GOD for making this happen..also i bought a new cell phone,its cool,slick and looks smart..in short it's everything i am not,i think its true what people say,Guys use gadgets to cover their insecurities..but with the level of insecurities i have,iPad would have been a better option.

So last week,it happenned..It was a perfect afternoon..it was raining outside,the environment was dull,basically the kind of environment,guys like me appreciate..and then i heard
*why so serious...lets put a smile on that face*,
this was no divine intervention,it's my mobile text message tone..so i did what any guy would do..read the message..below is the content of that message..

Please read.Not joking.
 God has seen YOU struggling with some thing. God says its over. A blessing is coming your way. If you believe in God send this message on, please don’t ignore it, you are being tested. God is going to fix two things (BIG) tonight in your favor. If you believe in God, DROP EVERYTHING AND PASS IT ON. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. DON’T BREAK THIS CHAIN. SEND THIS TO 14 FRIENDS IN 10 MINUTES WHEN YOU READ IT.

First thing...I am glad this message didnt say i would die if I dint forward the message.

Secondly..it says..'If you believe in God, DROP EVERYTHING',so this would mean i have to drop the phone,which would damage it and render it useless for the forwarding message purpose..you see the message itself is flawed..and this being my new cell phone I wont drop it...I truly believe GOD will understand..!!

Thirdly..SEND THIS TO 14 FRIENDS IN 10 MINUTES WHEN YOU READ IT...so how did you come up with this number 14..i tried decoding..but it was of no use...


According to me.there are three types of chain messages focusing on several core groups..

'Fwd and you will get kissed' message.
Core Group : Teenagers,Twilight fans and Perverts..
Believe me..No one is going to kiss you...if you send those messages..this is experience talking!!

'Fwd and you will be luckier than Hugh Hefner' message
Core Group : Everyone.
If you truly believe that forwarding some message would help you get some luck,then i totally respect your decision and I think we should not be friends anymore..

'Fwd or you will die buddy' message
Core Group : Everyone
Wats up with this message ??

'Fwd and you will find the person you love'
Core Group : Teenagers and Perverts..Again Twilight fans
I personally feel,if you forward this message in hopes of finding the person you love..then I sincerely hope you remain SINGLE for the rest of your life.


My Question : Since when did God have interest in text messages,
I would like to clarify that I am believer in GOD,I have faith and i dont think God would stop loving me if i dont send some forward some message,which would probably get me kissed by random girls..I think God understands that...What is funny is the fact the people who forward me those texts are educated,think logically and have an IQ above 45,(i am not sure about the last part though)

So like South Park i would like to impart some lessons on you..
Dont forward me those messages,dont mail them to me..or wait..do send them..i dont want anyone to not get kissed because of me..

OH YEAH!! GOOD NEWS!! Ravindra Jadega..or as i call him Sir Jaddu..back on the ODI India team..cool,Maybe he did forward those messages

Doggie Style :P

What's going on in this world..Are we as a country so desperate for entertainment that have to find solace in a unscripted,over acted,mindless masala flick..yeah! i am talking about 'READY'.

That's the exact point when i was enlightened,maybe this was the reason i was having all those sleep less nights ..i have to go blog something,it's been so long..,the world is craving my insanely sane thoughts,the world is going crazy,i have do put some sanity back into this world,this world who has made 'READY',a SUPER DUPER BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE,Putting sanity back into this world which thinks Pink is Gay!,Putting sanity back into this world which thinks i am desperate to be in a relationship,Putting sanity back into this world which thinks that the Aishwarya Rai being pregnant is the greatest news of the decade,Putting sanity back into this world which criticises Rebecca Black and hails Justin Bieber

Enough of me being melodramatic.
Back to My usual insane stuff

So who hates dogs..
*raises both hands*
I do.I seriously do..
let me  rephrase that..who hates stray dogs
*starts jumping & raises hands*
I do.I seriously do..

well,i don't really hate them..hate would be a harsh term to use...i dislike them...just the way i dislike tusshar kapoor movies or like working on weekends.

Stray Dogs : a creature resembling a dog,having almost all the personality traits of a dog,but unclean & stupid.(yeah i forgot stray dog lovers & stray dogs who read this might be offended)Woof!

Chal i will admit..i am scared of dogs,stray dogs in particular..firstly if you have a central nervous system and if you have receptive brain sensors you should be afraid of dogs..they have claws,sharp teeth and you never know  what they are thinking,although they sure can help with the obesity problem.,well i think that's the only feature a stray dog has got..

After my considerable research on stray dogs,i have been able to group stray dogs according to its behavioral traits..Here they are

The Hungry Kutta
Looks extremely pitiful..you feed him one day & he'll think you are his personal bitch..he expects you to feed him,bathe him,scratch his belly..he stalks you,follows you every where you go.These dogs like most stray dogs are stupid and cant really differentiate the difference between food & plastic..Occasionally found near your friendly neighbourhood garbage can.

The Haramkhor Kutta
This is the type of dog,Dharmender hates..You feed this dog one day,he'll become your pet,he'll be the best friend you ever had,he'll be there when you need him,he'll be there when you are going through a break up or facing a crisis in your pathetic life,(waise how pathetic would your life be if you have to ask a stray dog for support)..Everything thing is fine till you feed this kutta,the day you don't feed him..he'll turn into a expressionless zombie,i am not talking about Mimoh here...He'll chase you on the roads..he'll pee on your car,he'll shit on your door step..A word of advice from me..Don't ever mess with these guys..

The D'uh Kutta
Seen that dog in your colony who always has his tongue hanging out & acting plain weird
Have you ever seen a dog chase a car,bike..i mean whats going through that stupid dogs head when he does that,may be they are fans of the Fast & Furious franchise..If you are a dog what makes you chase a vehicle which is travelling at 45 km/hr...and WTF! would you do once you catch the vehicle..may be this one of life's unanswered questions..Also what makes dogs hate rag pickers,going by the dogs' expressions i can assume they are scared but WTF! would you follow & bark at someone who scares,if you are scared go hide somewhere you dumb dog.

The Sex Addict Kutta
(Just to be clear,not talking about Shiney Ahuja here)
Is it too late for that joke ??
So you are out on your first date..you want to make the best impression,you try to be funny,decent and then you see these dumb dogs have a 'mate fest' you try to look away but these dogs just keep jumping right in front of you,all you can do in this scenario is close your eyes and expect your date doesn't realise that you are a pervert,well i don't really have a problem with dogs 'going at it',what i have a problem with the ratio,the average ratio of a 'Mate Fest' at a particular time is 15:1:2

15: male dogs
1: female dog(i cant use the b word here)
2 : Your friendly neighbourhood 'moral policing' uncles who throw stones at the dogs,in an attempt to stop the 'Mate Fest'

The Cute Kutta
Well they don't really exist,just like unicorns...you want them to exist but they really don't..how can you expect a stray to be cute..expecting a stray to be cute is like expecting Amy Winehouse to turn sober,but well a stray pup is kinda cute..well if you think about it,if you are the result of a  'Mate Fest' with the ratio 15 : 2,it would be a miracle if you are just turn out to be a normal dog..

Just Rated!

I love to write,i would like to write a new blog post everyday but then when something is more in demand it just loses its X factor,also i cant seem to think on what new to write,I cant write on relationships anymore since readers have asked me to stay away from that genre,so finding something which is as interesting as dating and relationships is pretty tough..

It was a beautiful morning,i don't remember which day it was but it was beautiful,So i did what i do on every beautiful day..log in to facebook and comment on others status updates.,but this time something was different..whenever i typed facebook.com in my browser..it said cannot find server...Damn my Internet Service Provider,you ruined my plans to enjoy this beautiful day..Then a voice inside me said, Go outside Blesson,Step Outside..See The World...

My first reaction..Who's Talking..?
Since i trust random voices coming from my inside is decided to go outside,I dressed up,gelled up my hair..Tadah! Ready!
Just i was about to enjoy this beautiful i say..I saw the second greatest invention ever created..TELEVISION,for some strange reason that day it had a halo behind it too..so now i was in dilemma..Should i go outside and hangout with my friends on this beautiful day where the temperature is about 40 or should i just turn on the Television and sit on my couch and enjoy the sweet comfort of my house..

SO i did what any one of you must have did,I watched TV..*applause*

The reason i hate watching television is the type of junk that's being aired on Indian television and being labelled as entertainment,Don't get me started on the Music Channels..They all SUCK!!
So i planned to watch T.V but there's nothing to watch..in such times the best option is to watch movie channels.So i tuned into a Hindi movie channel and started to watch some 80s movie.And that when i came to know the utter stereotyping that happens in our Hindi Cinema..(The real blog starts now)

I was watching this movie...typical 80s Hindi movie when i say typical it means it had about 12 * 128 songs,about 45 fights,loud background score and Johnny Lever.I was watching it,liking it until i saw something really offensive(offensive would be a harsh term but i could think of any other word)
The villain in the movie had a sidekick named Peter.,who ran a illegal liquor business,other guy Robert was the local goon...I realised something here..why all the bad guys in Hindi movies are Christians ?

I don't have any problem with that,It just entertainment.we are not supposed to take it seriously...what i have a problem is the lack of originality when it comes to christian characters in the 80s movies..Here's something i noticed about the Typical Hindi Movies.
Only three Christian names exist in the 80s Christian cinema..

Tony - The most commonly used name in Hindi movies,He's mostly a goon or a drug addict.He's mostly found outside colleges eve teasing the heroine following which he has a fight with the Hero..Probably the most over used character in cinema

Peter - The second most commonly use name in Hindi cinema..he's overweight and runs an illegal liquor business,He's the most trusted ally of the villain and is usually drunk for the most part of the movie.

Robert - The character who has a huge foreign influence..He's the local goon..He usually doesn't have much dialogues the movies,The only dialogues he has is 'Ye poora area apun ka hai' which he says to the Hero following he has his butt kicked..


Also the non villainous Christian characters are always drunk and talk in weird English..They start their dialogues with 'What Man' and always end it with the 'What Man'
eg : 'What Man,tum daru nahi peeta,chalo Peter ke waha jaayenga..kya bolta..What Man'

Also not just about Christians..How do they actually Malayalees is a concern..I agree we malayalees do have a south indian accent..But these movies portray them is totally over the top..Malayalee characters are usually bald,overweight and just have one word dialogues..no points for guessing what word that is 'Aiyoo'..Seriously when was the last time you heard a malayalee say 'Aiyoo'..

PS : we are malayalees..we don't like to called mallus.if you are a malayalee and say your are a 'mallu' then probably you are a Jerk!

PPS : We are Indians first :D

Shopping Spree

*phone rings*

me : yello..

she : dude,u free today ?

me : *checks imaginary schedule* yeah pretty much free..

she : meet at the mall in one hour..have some shopping to do. 

me : aww..!that's so nice of you..but you don't need to buy me clothes 

she : m taking about shopping for my clothes u idiot..

me : if aamir khan hadn't worked in 3 idiots..i would have been so offended now

she : here comes the jokes..dude,your jokes aren't funny..

me : u know that's not true.

she : ohkk..back to the topic..so coming na

me  : first of all..aren't ur gal friends supposed to go shopping with you..

she : yeah! thats y i called you..

me : u seriously think thats funny..

she : Cmon,blesson...m asking you a favor..all my friends are busy and being a gal i cant make quick decisions by myself..

me : that's sexist 

she : i am a girl...m allowed to tell sexist jokes..

me : and we talk about gender equality..

she : back to the topic..meet in one hour..

me : ohkk..! even i was searching for something to write for my blog.

*a hour later at the mall*

she : finally you here..

me : so where else am i supposed to be ?

she : don't start with the jokes..let go shopping.

me : the last time i was this excited was while watching 'Rakhi ka Insaaf'

she : and you wonder why you are single..

she : let the shopping begin..

me : yeah!(fake excitement)

yeah! guys can fake it too

*At the store*

she : this looks good,so does this one..m confused..

me : why don't you buy both of them..?

she : cool suggestion,man..i knew calling you was not a mistake..,wait a sec..i already have one with the same color..

me : so Wat's the big deal,buy one more.

she : don't make regret the decision of calling you..so tell me which looks better this pink one or this semi peach one..

me : aren't they both same...they both look good on you..

she : a bit more seriousness please..

me : *thinking* inki pinki ponki...

me : the peach one..its good..its makes your face glow..

she : aww...even i felt so..i knew calling you was not a mistake..

me : yeah! u already said that..nothing more satisfying  than shopping for girls clothes on a saturday morning..

she : yeah! great na..

me : so finally its done...lets head back...

she : huh ?? we just started...i need to buy matching earnings now..

me : CRAP!

she : cmon,lets go..

me : *thinking* i should have never answered that damn phone.

me : yeah!lets get started!!

*After approximately a decade*

she : finally its done 

me : yeah!it was soo fun...time just flew..cant believe it took just 3 hours

she : even though i sense sarcasm..Thanks for your help.

me : Like Salman Khan once said 'Dosti main no thankss no sorry'

she : wateva!..we should do this more often

me : no coz this sucks..and took up my entire saturday morning..

MORAL : Never answer a girl's call on a saturday morning 

PS : Shopping with a girl is not easy as it sounds..it's real complicated..more complicated than the telecommunication system of the 1940's

Move It,Mayne

Today i am a bit sad ,I just got dumped....my imaginary girlfriend just dumped me...well i too dint like her much..But what makes me sad is she now dating my imaginary best friend...so here i am today talking about breakups..Well i am not much of an expert to talk abt breakups...but i am a malayalee,so that by default makes  me an expert in all topics..bol bacchan karne main aur free main advice dene main hum sabse aage..well I'll talk about the malayalee in me later..

Back to Breakups.
When you first hear about someone breaking up..the following thoughts comes in your mind
Guys think
Great!!,she's single now!

Girls think
Oh !what a pity..they looked so cute together..

First of all..i would like to clarify the breakup myth..you guys know the breakup myth,that's being perpetuated across our society..the breakup myth is 'She dint dump me..It was a mutual breakup'..yeah right!
there ain't no such thing as a mutual breakup..you either dump someone or you get dumped..theres  nothing like a mutual breakup...

Breakups have certain characters..
The Dumper : Also known as the bad guy/gal
The Dumpee : Also known as the loser/
The Blogger :  Me

How to deal with breakups ?
Like always i am going to give the guys perspective here..So if your imaginary gf dumps you too..follow these steps..

Go to Las Vegas
ohh..wait! I thought we were in a Hollywood movie...this helps only if you are in a angrezzi movie

Stop crying..yeah breakups are tough..lol
no they aren't...the reason you feel like crying is probably you watch too much of Disney Channel's Hannah Montana or listen to too much of Taylor Swift...take them of your play list and you will do just fine..Eminem's songs really help..seriously!

After clearing out your play list,the next step is
Hangout with your single friends...you laughed at them when you were in a relationship..now its their turn,go for a movie with them do some 'velagiri'..rather than sulking..enjoy your free time

Move On!
Don't try calling your ex,don't text her,don't mail her,and don't start stalking her facebook profile...there's no point calling her back...face it man...you got dumped..nothing wrong in that,i have been dumped several times..most of the time by imaginary gals.Don't worry there are plenty of fishes in the sea..
(I advice not to swim after a break up)

Throw away any gifts she gave you..
Girls don't really like giving gifts,particularly to guys..well no girl gives me any gifts..so if you have had the honour of receiving any gifts from your girl..throw them away..better idea is to give them to me..i wont mind..anything for a friend to get over his breakup..

Don't be a Devdas..well try being DevD
Devdas was a drunk loser..DevD was a 'high' loser atleast he was cool..
Breakups don't mean you have to stop with your life..instead its a sign you need to upgrade your coolness version..
My  coolness version 15.0.
(doesn't necessarily mean i have been dumped 15 times)

Don't cry on facebook..
As if dealing with Farmville,Cityville and Mafia Wars request weren't enough,i now have to deal with  your personal relationship crisis on facebook..instead ask me for some good status updates..anything for a friend to get over his breakup..

Revenge is sweet..!
The Best way to get over a break up...date someone much hotter than your ex..den call your ex..
n say the following words
'I have moved on,BIYAACH!'

To my imaginary Gf..I have moved on,BIYAACH!!

Twilight : Ek Amar Prem Katha

If you read my blog,you might have noticed a few things...
1)I never won a prize in spelling bee.

2) I hate Twilight..

Well I don't hate Twilight,hate would be a harsh word..i just don't like it..there's something about Twilight that repulses me,although i haven't read the book,i have seen the movies and i know you cant judge a book by its movie..that's the closest i got in my attempt to understand Twilight..

So today i am going to give my unbiased review on the movie Twilight...I know its way too late to give a review..but as they say..better late than never..also a reader asked me to write a review,and i take my readers requests very seriously(not really)


The Story

For starters,Twilight revolves around two characters.Bella(Kristen Stewart) and Edward Cullen(Robert Pattinson).
Seventeen year old Bella has to move to Forks,a small town near Washington and live with her dad after her mom marries some baseball player.Bella for some odd reason has a constipated expression on her face throughout the movie and i don't think its part of the character..she's quiet and introvert yet manages to befriend many students at her new school on the very first day(these must be very good kids )
.. One more odd thing about this movie are the people in this movie,they are all white,too fair well most of them,at one point i thought whether this movie was funded by 'Fair & Lovely'..
Back to the review,If there's one scene in the movie which i found to be interesting it has to be the scene where our hero Edward Cullen and his family is introduced,i don't know what but that scene always makes me smile..
So our Bella is now intrigued by the mysterious Edward Cullen,who happens to be  108 year old vampire,i knew gals like older men but this is pushing the limits..
Also Edward seems to be intrigued by Bella,?
reason : he cant read her mind..well does she have any ?
he secretly watches her sleep, a 108 year old vampire in your room watching you sleep thats CREEPY....i seriously question Bella's intelligence,when inspite of knowing all these she continues to be with Edward,if had a guys done such creepy act he would have been termed a pervert,....double standards!

Edward opens up to Bella,the secret of him being a vampire and why they don't come out in the sun : reason : HE SPARKLES....awwwwww....!
Another interesting part of the movie are the Cullens..
Rosalie Cullen : she's pissed off Cullen..
Emmet Cullen : the 'Salman Khan' of the Cullens
Alice Cullen :  she predicts future..or something like that
Jasper : he's weird..he too has a constipated expression on his face,i am assuming it has something to do with the character...also he reminds me of Arjun Rampal,coz there's just one expression on his face.
Carlisle & Esme Cullen : The Head Cullens

Climax : In Twilight,there some vampires who actually harm humans,when one of them tries to target Bella we get the final confrontation between Edward and the bad guy which is very badly directed and probably the worst part in the entire movie..

Whats Good :

The film last two hours..well that's not really a good news.

The film is visually appealing,looks great,the only reason i watched this movie

Whats Bad

Bella is dating a 108 year old Vampire,that is bad on so many levels.

Special Effects...i have seen better special effects in Ramsay movies

My Rating **

Girl Power

I am usually not the 'talker' in a social group,m mostly the guy who likes to notice things and blog about them,doesn't sound cool but yeah it is.I really like to categorize things..everything..Today i am going to categorize the different types of gals i come across,Yeah! no talking about relationships today,i am over that 'i need a girlfriend' phase,m back to being the usual funny,weird guy..

Talking about girls..lot has been said about them..their behavior,their likes and dislikes...i am not going to repeat all of that now..you already know that,if you don't,then kindly refer 'Cosmopolitan' or 'Femina',they really do help.

Today i am going to categorize the different types of girls,i usually come across..here they go..

 'We are sophisticated' 

Ideology :I wont talk to you unless you compliment on this scarf i just bought.

I personally call them 'high maintainance' group.They dress like  models,act like one and eat like one too,they think every other gal is a b*tch and try to ignore everyone.I like hanging around this group,not because they are fun to be around just because they provide such good material to write at my blog,Ever wondered who  actually reads fashion magazines...this group members constitute 98.45 % of the total fashion magazine reading world..

(You might be wondering how i get to hangout with these girls,well perks of being funny)

'Twilight Zindabad'

Ideology : Twilight is the greatest work of literature  

This group is further sub divided into two teams

Team Edward

Team Jacob

The girls belonging to this group select a particular team for themselves depending upon their personal liking for Edward Cullen,the Vampire or Jacob Black,the Werewolf..This group was previously known as the 'Harry Potter Fan Club' but following Twilight's sparkling success the group had to be renamed due to the public outcry.

'Girlie' 

Ideology : hmmm...does Pink make me look fat ?

This group constitute about 75% of the total girl population..These are the girls who like the color Pink, Teddy Bears, Bryan Adams and Justin Bieber.Another peculiarity about these girls, they like to stick stickers on everything from bags to purses,everywhere there's something addictive about stickers which really 

attracts these girls..

My boyfriend is the best boyfriend in the world

Ideology : If you are a girl,stay away from my guy

The Name says it all..yeah you have a bf that's really awesome..but stop pestering me with all your love problems,these girls have a never ending list of bf questions..stay away from them because if you piss them off..they have their bf's to kick your butt 

The most commonly used phrases by these girls are 

My Boyfriend is the greatest boyfriend.

My Boyfriend is the greatest boyfriend ever.

 The Tomboy 

Ideology : wtf are you staring at ?

These girls are really cool.if i ever want to be in a relationship it would be only be with a tomboy kinda girl.These are the type of girls with whom you don't have to think before talking,totally fun to be around.They are intelligent,determined,outgoing and confident and are really good to have conversations with.

PS : Don't mess with them,they sure know how to kick some butt

The B*tchy Types

Ideology : If i know it,so should the entire universe 

Did you know ABC is dating PQR...aww..!don't tell anyone you heard this from me

Does this one need an explanation ?

'The girl who you cant date'

Ideology : Don't you dare ask me out,i will humiliate you in public

There will always be girls whom you really like but no matter how hard you try,how much hard you think you don't really have a shot with them...

Damn! Classification sure is tough

Why I Blog

Are you a Guy ?
Are you Depressed?
Are you feeling Lonely ?
Are you a Justin Bieber fan ?

If you answered all these above questions with the word 'YES'
that proves you are single and you have really bad taste in music...oh wait that explains your single status

Since Valentines Day is fast approaching,i spend the major part of my day looking for my potential dates and since i have almost null experience in this matters,i would like to share with you some of the tips you need to do to impress girls and probably get dated..
PS : These tips dint work for me,so don't bother trying them..if they do indeed work,let me know..
Here they go..

Change your play list
If you want to have any chance of dating a girl ever,then the first thing you need to do is remove all Justin Bieber songs from your play list,this may not help you in impressing any girl just do it for the sake of humanity.


BE FUNNY to be precise Witty..!
If there's anything i know about girls,then it's this,they LIKE funny guys,i know its a cliche,but they sure do..If you are funny thats put on the radar with girls,it gets their attention and once you have their attention you are in the GAME..

Note : being funny doesn't necessarily mean commenting on every random person you see,don't over do
it,you aint auditioning for 'The Great Indian Comedy Show'...don't come off as a JERK!

Work your Charm
Now that you have her attention,all you have to do is work your charm over her,in case you don't have your personal charm,watch some 90s Hindi romantic movies and learn,i watched a bunch of them and it really helps,if suniel shetty can get girls so can you.

Just Be Confident..Confidence is the key

Pretend to like Twilight,atleast try

Well,i know this one's a bit tough and weird too...but most girls really like,i mean they are really crazy about Twilight...i still remember the day i went to watch Twilight : New Moon,a decision i still regret making...all i could see was girls,girls n more girls talking about how cute Edward was and why they hate Bella.

Bottom line : Read Twilight,i tried reading it once...and i am still stuck on the first page..its just so engrossing..

Give her Compliments 
If there's anything girls like more than Edward Cullen,its hearing compliments about herself,but please don't overdo it,girls are not DUMB..they sure can differentiate a genuine compliment from a phoney one,and don't be a jerk when complimenting her also please refrain from complimenting on her clothes too often,you don't want to come across as Gay....
Please don't use the following compliments (they dint work for me)

Compliment 1
hey looking cute,reminds me of babe(the pig)

Compliment 2
This dress sure makes you look slim..

Compliment 3
Did they have a sale at the cosmetic section ?

Stop flooding her with your texts

So u have her number,doesn't mean you text her every 10 minutes.,not only you come across as a weirdo..it makes you look desperate,and the last thing a girl needs is a despo stalking her..
Also if you really are so desperate,send some texts but make sure you spell correctly and check for grammar mistakes...don't make her feel that you flunked fifth grade

Write Blogs

Now you know why,i am here..

Advice Needed...

In my previous post 'Single Blues',i mentioned how it was hard to find a girl who's intelligent,creative and has a good sense of humour someone like Tina Fey.
You guys would be glad to know that finally i met a girl with all those qualities,well not as creative as Tina Fey but sure close.
           
So i thought to myself,there's no way you can date this girl,she's good for you...but then i thought(i know i think a lot),finally you meet a girl who's fits your criteria so why not try..no harm in trying!
See,this is confusing and since i haven't been involved in the dating game in a long time,i really don't know what to do.
If i do ask her out,two possible outcomes
1)Happy Ending
She accepts the proposal and we date happily ever after.

2)Not so Happy Ending
She rejects my proposal,humiliates me in front of her friends and ruins my hard earned reputation

You see there are serious risks here..what scares me is i am having sleepless nights,its either insomnia or if Hindi movies are anything to go by.its LOVE
and if i don't ask her out,i may remain single forever

So i did what every intelligent guy would do,look for advice and when it comes to giving advice English romantic comedies are the best bet,they all have the same story,different characters and if you watch too much of them sometimes you may relate to them..but that dint help at all...so here i am back to square one,looking for advice from you guys..do tell me what to do coz when it comes giving love advices everyone is a self proclaimed LOVE GURU...or at least suggest some good romantic movies..

i know this surely sounds like some romantic comedy movie but trust me it isn't,although i do provide the comic relief,it really isn't..

PS : I know this sounds too desperate.

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKShow Time.

Post 2000,the Indian television industry took a giant leap..i am not sure in what direction they actually leapt… our television shows SUCK  or do they really…I take a look at the most talked about shows on television today

Here’s  top 5 shows you should watch out for…I mean literally watch out for them


Uttaran
Easily the most confusing show I have ever seen..

The Plot: Iccha and Tapasya are childhood friends. Iccha is poor while Tapasya is rich and spoilt, Now Tapasya’s family wants her to get marry Veer, but tapasya doesn’t like Veer she likes Siddharth
and ignores veer, Veer now  likes Iccha and asks her to marry him,she agrees, now all of a sudden tapasya likes veer and wants to marry him,iccha lets tapasya marry veer on her wedding day,veer comes to know about this betrayal on his ‘suhagraat’ and wants a divorce and wants to marry iccha again,but now Veer’s brother Vansh likes iccha and wants to marry her…iccha agrees to marry vansh meanwhile veer divorces tapasya….and for some reason  vansh kills himself and tapasya gets the blame…since iccha is single again..veer decides to marry her and iccha too agrees(the fiasco continues)…..

Good Thing about the show: Its duration is only  30 minutes

Bad thing about the show :  Its still on air.

Channel : Colors

Balika Vaddhu
The title seems to be misleading, when I saw the show I dint see any ballika but there were quite a few vaddhus.

The Plot : No matter what people say, this show is a saas bahu show,the show started well highlighting the issue of child marriage but months into airing it went to same way most shows go i.e deviate from their original plot & storyline , Dadisa(the saas)  tries her best to make life difficuly for her three bahus…Sumitra,the eldest bahu,Gehna,the  intermediate bahu and Anandi,the youngest(shes the protagonist),while the actors are doing a decent job and what a makes the show somewhat bearable,but what makes it almost unbearable is the background score,every five minutes there's this random music which makes you cover your ears and scream..the producers seem to give every actor equal footage, every week dadisa takes on a new bahu in hopes to revive TRP’s

Good thing about the show : Actors

Bad thing about the show : Misleading title & background music

Channel : Colors

Laagi Tujhse Lagan

Weird Show

The Plot : It is the love story between Dutta Ram Patil a powerful ganster and Nakusha a beautiful girl,wondering what the weird part is ???
Here it is…Nakusha is a beautiful girl,in order to save her from the snare of her neighbors her mother cover her face and her body with kaajal  everyday..you people must see this show and see for yourself..but this secret is revealed and the family decides to flee their village because the village inspector wants to marry nakusha,Dutta (the protagonist) saves them from him and takes these total strangers to his castle like house and offers them work…& I thought ‘bhalai ka zamanna hi nahi hai’

Good Things about the show : kaajal  incident 

Bad thing about the show :  below average acting

Channel : Colors

Saural Genda Phool

Wannabe Show

The Plot : Suhana,a rich,spoilt pampered girl gets married to Ishaan,a middle class guy with qualities exactly different from suhana.suhana who isn’t interested in the marriage is forced into this marriage finds it difficult to adjust with the middle class ways of living…as I said the show tries too hard to be funny,…every 5 minutes  random characters are introduced and dialogues seems to be inspired from the book ‘101 ways to annoy your audience’

Good Thing about the show:  Good Lead Actors

Bad Things about the show : Dialogues and over acting by side actors

Channel : Star Plus

Saath Nibhana Saathiya

AWESOME SHOW

The Plot : This is truly an entertaining show,I truly feel..its a total saas bahu show and it is quite entertaining…The story revolves around Gopi, a simple village girl married in a rich family..her husband Ahem(cool name) hates her, seriously look at things from his perspective if you are a rich guy why would you marry a simple village girl..but the real star of the show is Kookila, gopi’s mother in law and her conflicts with her other bahu Rashi, the evil bahu..As I said the show is really entertaining..the actors do a fine job and the story/concept  is old but sure is fun

Good Thing about the show:  Everything
Bad Things about the show : Only airs for 30 minutes
Channel : Star Plus

Its SMOKIN!!!!!

Let me ask you a question..Name a product which continues to grow without the use of any aggressive direct marketing or advertisement ??
any guesses..well the answer is cigarettes....
no advertisement...no sponsorship ties....still they continue to grow and prosper...any other product would just have become extinct.

Reasons

• They are COOL..(an assumption i made after i talked with some my friends who smokes.)
• They are easily Available...
• and most important they are addictive...so when you have a product like this who needs advertisement.

so you might be wondering,why all of a sudden i am talking about smoking.recently i understood the fact that there's a rise in the number of teenage smokers so i thought i'll do my bit to educate them...well i am not gonna sound preachy(even i hate it even someone does that)nor i am asking people to quit smoking...like my blog is gonna help someone quit smoking..but  it would be cool if someone quits smoking after reading this..

About 30% of my friends smoke as long its their lungs they are burning..i got no problems...but as a non smoker its my duty to ask my friends not to smoke ,but my talks are not addictive enough..so they continue to 'smoke smoke..smoke that cigarette'.
So as a curious non smoker i decided to interview my friend who is a active cigarette smoker and he was gracious enough to answer my question..

Me : when you start smoking..
Smoker : just lighted a few minutes back...

Me :(fake laugh)smokers have a great sense of humor,what i meant was since when have you been smoking. ?
Smoker : about two years...smoking since my senior college days...to be precise..first year of college..

Me : As a non smoker,i wanna ask why do u smoke ?
Smoker : i started smoking coz my friends did it...now i smoke just to pass time..

Me : So your friends forced you to smoke...peer pressure n stuff ??
Smoker : NO....i thought its cool to smoke..(now you know from where the assumption came from)

Me : How much smoke in a  day ?
Smoker : about 7 cigarettes..

Me : Any plans to quit smoking ?
Smoker : (laughs)i already did...quite a few times..!

I am not going to ask people not to smoke coz they will and theirs no point arguing with smokers..if tomorrow someone says chocolates are bad....m not gonna believe them too.Smokers have made their choice and they will stand by it unless it them who really wants to quit smoking..
I don't even see the point having warning on cigarette boxes,everyone knows about the bad effects of smoking and like someones gonna stop smoking by reading those warnings...what need to do is educate our youth...specially the ones in school..EDUCATION is the key...Its the job of our education system to warn the  young kids about the dangers of smoking so that when they are old enough they can choose for themselves..

Statutory Warning : Cigarette Smoking is Injurious to Health
PS : Cancer Cures Smoking.

The 'C' word

so here i am....again..i just updated my blog few days back and was seriously thinking about taking a break from blogging for the whole of this month...but then 'I DINT LIKE YOUR LAST BLOG POST' happened..people said they were bored reading abt all single,relationship crap...huh ?i thought people wanted to read only about them..isn't that the core subject of many women magazines...since my credibility as a amateur blogger was questioned , am here blogging again to show i do think about other important stuff too..
in order to search for topics i decided to watch some news(yeah! i do watch them)...and then came

the hottest topic there is..CORRUPTION!(MY PERSONAL FAVORITE TOPIC)

Firstly if u live in India...u r not new to this word.we have 'jholers'(scamsters)everywhere.everyone one of us somewhere has to face this problem(bribery)...some face it everyday and i don't think this problem can be tackled by drinking tea(remember the 'Jaago Re!' campaign)
so when there was a flood of scams being highlighted by the Indian Media,i wasn't too shocked..
for me it was like 'Oh! Great,the circus begins again'...i even knew the course of action the authorities would take..Cmon this hasn't been the first time such scams have been exposed..and i don't think this is the last of the lott..
The Course Of Action
1) A committee to probe charges
2)Probe would take years..in the meanwhile the alleged 'corrupt' person may have allegedly committed several other corruptions and roams free,continues to fight election and the best part is most of them win..so the message,citizens sending out :no matter how corrupt you are we continue to vote for you..and the the cycle continues..

The Three Big Scandals the media is highlighting is
1)Commonwealth Games Scam
2)2G Scam
3)Adarsh Society Scam

Commonwealth Games Scam :
The Man in question : Suresh Kalmadi
 Frankly,this has been talked for months and i am not going to describe what this scam is all about

about..all i want to say is the scams is of approximately 8000 crores.....

2G Spectrum scam :
The man in question : A Raja
Ironic isnt it...his name is Raja.
According to reports in the media...the government lost approximately Rs 1.76 Lakh Crore in this 2G spectrum scandal..hmm i am weak at maths..but even i know thats a huge amount.since most people dont know abt this scam...i will elaborate
What Happened :In August 2007, TRAI (Telecom Regulatory Authority of India) had set out detailed recommendations, and guided the Telecom ministry to auction the 2G (means 2nd Generation) spectrum, by bidding process..
But A. Raja straight away rejected the TRAI recommendations and instead of auctioning the 2G spectrum licenses, he followed the year 2001 policy of awarding spectrum licenses on first-come-first- serve basis, where prices were fixed in 2001..A report by the government's auditor, the Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG)  has declared that

Raja broke the rules and ignored the advice of the Prime Minister to award licenses at inexplicably cheap prices to companies who should have been declared ineligible.  85 of the 122 licenses issued in 2008 by Raja, the CAG report said, were given to companies who provided false or incorrect information.  Some of these companies went on to sell their licenses at massive profits.  Raja cost the government 1.76 lakh crores, says the CAG report...

Well..u might have heard about the new movie on the Block..
The 2G Network :you can get to 500Bn Rupees without making many enemies


Adarsh Scam :
The Man in Question : Many
Its the new scam on the block..its the scam of the season...what makes it more special..it happened in our own city.

What Happened : On a land where a building was supposed to be built for our Kargil war heroes..some really awesome people(sense the sarcasm) constructed a 30 storey building and the best part is...they distributed it among politicians,their chachas,'aunties',bureaucrats at throwaway prices..
The least we can do for our army men is to give them respect they deserve but some really awesome(sense the sarcasm,again) people haven't heard of the word ethics..

So done with the three scams highlighted by the media...i just need to publish this article as soon as possible before a new scam crops up..and top the people who think i write only about relationships...'I M BACK!'

Single Blues....

Friend : i hate being single
Me : i thought u were with someone..
Friend : yeah! we broke up last week
Me : so u been single for one week n you think it sucks
Friend : yeah! everyone i know is dating someone & i don't want be a single loser..no offence
Me : None taken..

Based on the conversation i had with my friend last week,i got to know two things
1) Dating is now a social status symbol.
2) Since i am single that makes me a loser..

So Being Single...that's one topic i can talk about endlessly coz frankly my relationship status hasn't changed in a long time(real long time) and its not like i don't want to be in a relationship its just being single is more relaxing and once you get used to the comforts of being single you rarely think about the grass on the other side...

So Dating as a status symbol,i believe this is true to an extent,well most people think that way..that got me thinking...who says Singles Suck and people in relationships are cool..who sets the guidelines and then i stumbled upon the answer..MOVIES,TELEVISION(mostly English shows,in Hindi shows the concept of dating doesn't exist)...think about it..if i ask you to name a character from a Movie or a show who's single and happy and cool...u simply cant coz there ain't any such characters and if they exist i don't know about them(if they do..let me know).dnt say Joey from 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S'..u say he's cool look what happened to him at the end of the season he was left jobless & alone...Most Movies portrays singles to be losers,lonely  same is the case for television shows...the central characters cant be single..and even if they are they are desperate for companionship..All you see on shows nowadays is how the gal tries best to woo the 'HOT' guy and then they fall in love and they are HAPPY!...so do i need to be in a relationship to be happy coz thats what the television shows seem to be suggesting..

so back to the core issue,one of the reasons there is a rise in the number of changed relationship status is most people  think its cool to have a boyfriend/girlfriend  or may be people are watching too much of Disney Channel...One of the reasons i am single is its really hard to find a girl who is  intellectual and has a sense of humor..its really hard finding a girl with good sense of humor and when i do find her,she's too intellectual to date me..so back to square one(i really need to rethink my criteria)...my ideal girl should be someone like Tina Fey,funny,talented and intellectual what i am trying to say here is don't be in a hurry to be in a relationship,its not a competition i say it especially to the girls(guys will be guys no point telling them anything) don't force yourself into a relationship,if it meant to happen it will(look at me wise guy talking)

PS : I am single..any single girls do comment :P

Roha Annual Conference...Dombivli's Perspective..

When you put the words ‘Annual Conference’ and ‘ROHA’ together it’s enough for the dombivli MGOCSM members to get excited.. so after all the planning and stuff, finally we were all ready to go to roha & ROCK!...and the good thing this time we weren’t going empty handed, we had a full fledged musical skit to present there and to make our presence felt and when you have something like that you are bound to be excited..and when you get too excited you don’t sleep and when you don’t sleep you talk and when you talk you make jokes and when you make jokes everyone laughs and when everyone laughs you are made to go down and as a punishment you are made to make Identity card of all the delegates present at the conference and here’s the  thing all this punishment stuff was taking place at about 2.00 am at night…All thanks to Ben & his ‘aliyan’ joke..All night Jibi, Joci, Me, Biju, Matthew, Monsu, Subin, Vinu were busy making Identity cards..I really don’t know how to thank Ben(I am being sarcastic here)

Day One
So after the Adventure at night we all woke up,got ready,ben even took bath, now dats a rare occurence. so here we were at roha annual conference after the official inauguration it all began,the song session was good would have really liked if there were more new songs..but what we were more interested in was taking pictures..we took pictures of everything..pic no. 108 specially was good…so when it was time for trekking I was really excited(more pics to upload on facebook) but clearly dombivli guys(I literally mean the guys not the gals) always have something different in store for them instead of the bus which was supposed to take us to the spot we used a tempo I must say I wasn’t really excited about this plan but once it started it was just like a roller coaster ride, and when it started to rain, it’s just the feeling you can’t describe we finally reached the destination only to realize all the others had left and we were there bunch of guys just waiting to freak out(we dint freak out)..all we did was take a few pics and dried our clothes..but man, the view was awesome..sumthing the other guys missed..!  we returned  and got ready for the musical to be presented for the talent night…finally after a last minute rehearsal we were all set to ROCK!...and although I wasn’t performing i was really nervous about the act but seriously the way the guys performed  was just awesome..and such a huge response from the crowd and the chants of ‘ONCE MORE’ shows how much others liked it…all you guys were awesome..Jincy, Jeincy, Joci, Ben, Christy, Rince, Nancy, Sinju and the guy who made it all happen SUBIN..only subin could have managed and made this skit happen..
Day Two:
Same routine as day one…ben took bath! one thing I noticed about ben in this conference is he uses lot of talcum powder...he takes powder in hands and throws it on his face as if he’s whitewashing his face you guys should see the pictures of Ben..so second day same  song session, group discussions .group discussions were really great met a lot of new people and learnt  a lot about the theme of the conference..guess what it rained that evening too and the ‘Tambu’ too fell…really felt bad about that but the organizers managed to keep the program going that’s what I liked.

Day Three :
Traditional Day,since I dint bring any ‘mund’ was thinking of wearing some casual wear but joci was gracious enough to offer me his ‘jubba’..thankss man..There was a potential fight moment between Vinu and Ben over who should get to wear Monsu’s  ‘jubba’…but somehow Ben managed to convince  Vinu  afterall  ben’s a good at convincing people we all know that.. so after the lunch and photo sessions  at the  riverside we were ready to leave…got to the station on time…but missed the train coz it was too crowdy…after the train left….everything went haywire…everyone was shouting at each other..i distinctly remember joci n subin screaming something…and after sometime everyone joined in..finally after some time common sense prevailed and everyone decided to go back…girls got a straight ride to roha whereas guys were supposed to find a way to get there..and here’s  the catch no one knew the address all we knew there was one petrol pump nearby finally after a confusing journey we were back,

Things I learnt about Dombivli MGOCSM members

• Gals fight a lot and there’s groupism :P
• Ben takes bath
• Jincy can Act but Jeincy tries too hard.... :D
• Some couples like taking pictures but hate it when sumone uploads dem on facebook

And on a serious note I would like to say..all you guys and gals are awesome…hope we continue our good work..
PS : there is no pic 108...was juss kiddin :P

BIGG BOSS!

Aim : To ensure TRP’s


Requirements : One maverick anchor,14 jobless celebs,one huge house, one person who can say ‘Bigg Boss chahte hai….’


Product:  BIGG BOSS



There are certain things that get me really excited and one of them is Bigg Boss, I know that reduced my coolness quotient by 45% but I had to say it…no matter how my friends  try to ridicule me the concept of the show really attracts me, so when Bigg Boss came back with a new season I had to write about it. But I was really disappointed by the inmates choosen this season…this season we have inmates who are actors, models, losers and one ex-daaku as well and this time we have two outsourced inmates too as if we dint have jobless celebs in our own country, one smart move the makers made is have Salman Khan as the host, the guy is  maverick, TRP’s guaranteed.

here’s the list of u  don’t know them..

Shweta Tiwari :  Once she used to rule the television screen,now she’s nowhere to be seen(that rhymed!)..Her shot to fame was the television show ‘Kasauti Zindagi Ki’ after the show was pulled off air she seems to have lost her way, she even tried her luck in Bhojpuri films.

Ashmit Patel : Claims to be an actor I don’t know the number of movies this guy has acted in,but he sure has done some work on the small screen(cell phones)..I assume you guys know what I am talking about here.

Manoj Tiwari : Bhojpuri Actor or to be more precise Bhojpuri HERO.

Aanchal Kumar: I seriously don’t know who she is and I am too lazy google her but I think she’s a model and she’s HOT!

Veena Malik : Outsourced loser celeb..Claims to be an actor, was linked to Pakistani cricketer Asif, thinks she’s some sort of a superstar and likes to blow her own trumpet. She sometimes refers to herself as a third person and I find that weird

Begum: Outsourced loser celebrity! Was confused whether to use the word ‘celeb’ here coz I have never heard about him/her (u know its confusing) but think he/she hosts some talk show back home.

Samir Soni : Probably one of the most recognizable faces in the house, tries too hard to be an intellectual all I can say is he chose the wrong show  

Sara Khan : Better known as sadhana from Bidaai,doesn’t act in serials anymore, perfect example of an ‘out of work’ actor, planning  to get married in the Bigg Boss’s house, the things people do to save money

 Seema Parihar : An actual ex-daaku from Chambal, had a movie made on her life.

 Rahul Bhatt: Son of Mahesh Bhatt, the Bollywood Director.He’s no actor, model, no daaku and has no MMS either wonder what’s he doing on the show.

 Hrishant Goswami : Claims to be a model, good looking, well built . Its guys like him who make average guys like me look bad. I HATE him.

 Sakshi Pradhan: winner of Mtv’s  Splitsvilla, but probably gained more popularity from the small mobile screen..Seriously who chooses the inmates?

 Abdul Kazmi : lawyer of Kasab, that’s it.

 Bunty : Although he’s said to be a theif,he never admitted it…the movie ‘Oye Lucky Lucky Oye’ was said to be inspired from him. he was first one to be removed from the house for abusing Bigg Boss.

 Dolly Bindra : Overweight version of Rakhi Sawant,

Caution : listening to her can cause you to lose your  hearing sense

 The Great Khali : does he need an introduction ?

My list of celebs I want to be on Bigg Boss

·         Ekta Kapoor (the only way to stop her from producing any more serials)

·         Ram Gopal Varma (the only way to stop him from directing)

·         Baba Ramdev(for free yoga lessons)

·         S Sreesanth (malayalees,we need representation too)

·         Stone Cold Steve Austin

·         That  hairy guy from Sansani

·         Tiger Woods

·         Nana Patekar

·         Rajnikant  

Application : REJECTED!

Back to talking about relationships n stuff...seriously the only good stuff i seem to write are only about them..well REJECTIONS are a part of relationships,but that is debatable...rejection is in a way the end of a relationship even before it starts. i am going to give the guys perspective on rejections here .This is one topic i had to do quite a bit of research on this mostly because m not the guy who asks gals out n gets rejected i am the guy who sees other guys getting rejected and then blogs about it .So here i go...Gals very rarely ask guys out and if she does there are only two answers to that question..

Gal : I think i love u
Boy : I love u too..
or
Gal : I think i love u
Boy : sorry GAY!..

a guy whether single or committed always has 'Yes' as an answer whereas when it comes to gals its more complicated..
Also the feeling of being rejected is the worst  and what makes it worse is the fact that after being rejected there's nothing you can say or do that can sound COOL,the best you can do is hide your disappointment
here are some of 'throw up' lines gals mostly use.

Throw Up Line I
Boy : I think i love u
Gal : sorry,i need to concentrate on my studies may be later

REJECTED!!what she means is she prefers her booring studies over dating you..

Throw Up Line  II
Boy : I think i love u
Gal : I have a already bf else....

here the gal may or may not be lying,if she ain't lying u really need to stay away from her..what worse than getting rejected is getting beaten by her bf..n if she lying she means  she doesn't really like u even as a  friend..

Throw Up Line III
Boy : I think i love u
Gal : even i love u....as a friend.

here the what the gals means is i like u,u r really good u,treat me well,but is there any way u could introduce me to that cute friend of yours...

Throw Up Line  IV
Boy : I think i love u
Gal : u are too good for me..

probably the most commonly used 'throw up' line,
the reason : the line doesn't BS..
what she really means is she is too good for u..

Well the fifth one is kinda weird i don't know whether gals use this line but one of my friend sure uses this 'throw up' line..i seriously dunno whether she is being serious or rude..

Throw Up Line V

Boy : I think i love u 
Gal : don't think m ready to be in a relationship..i need time to think...can u wait for 5 months.

like i said i really don't no what she meant..the only thing i know is she's still single!


so like i said after being rejected there's nothing u can say that sounds cool...well here are a few lines u can try if u ever get rejected
Scenario I
Boy : I think i love u
Gal : sorry,i need to concentrate on my studies may be later
Boy : aren't u the gal that failed in 5th grade!


Scenario II
Boy : I think i love u
Gal : I have a already bf else....
Boy : *same pinch* me too!

Scenario III
Boy : I think i love u
Gal : even i love u....as a friend.
Boy : we r not friends anymore..i mean it!

Scenario IV
Boy : I think i love u
Gal : u are too good for me
Boy : yeah! i know that.

Scenario V

Boy : I think i love u 
Gal : don't think m ready to be in a relationship..i need time to think...can u wait for 5 months.
Boy : Yes,i can!