Advice Needed...

In my previous post 'Single Blues',i mentioned how it was hard to find a girl who's intelligent,creative and has a good sense of humour someone like Tina Fey.
You guys would be glad to know that finally i met a girl with all those qualities,well not as creative as Tina Fey but sure close.
           
So i thought to myself,there's no way you can date this girl,she's good for you...but then i thought(i know i think a lot),finally you meet a girl who's fits your criteria so why not try..no harm in trying!
See,this is confusing and since i haven't been involved in the dating game in a long time,i really don't know what to do.
If i do ask her out,two possible outcomes
1)Happy Ending
She accepts the proposal and we date happily ever after.

2)Not so Happy Ending
She rejects my proposal,humiliates me in front of her friends and ruins my hard earned reputation

You see there are serious risks here..what scares me is i am having sleepless nights,its either insomnia or if Hindi movies are anything to go by.its LOVE
and if i don't ask her out,i may remain single forever

So i did what every intelligent guy would do,look for advice and when it comes to giving advice English romantic comedies are the best bet,they all have the same story,different characters and if you watch too much of them sometimes you may relate to them..but that dint help at all...so here i am back to square one,looking for advice from you guys..do tell me what to do coz when it comes giving love advices everyone is a self proclaimed LOVE GURU...or at least suggest some good romantic movies..

i know this surely sounds like some romantic comedy movie but trust me it isn't,although i do provide the comic relief,it really isn't..

PS : I know this sounds too desperate.

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKShow Time.

Post 2000,the Indian television industry took a giant leap..i am not sure in what direction they actually leapt… our television shows SUCK  or do they really…I take a look at the most talked about shows on television today

Here’s  top 5 shows you should watch out for…I mean literally watch out for them


Uttaran
Easily the most confusing show I have ever seen..

The Plot: Iccha and Tapasya are childhood friends. Iccha is poor while Tapasya is rich and spoilt, Now Tapasya’s family wants her to get marry Veer, but tapasya doesn’t like Veer she likes Siddharth
and ignores veer, Veer now  likes Iccha and asks her to marry him,she agrees, now all of a sudden tapasya likes veer and wants to marry him,iccha lets tapasya marry veer on her wedding day,veer comes to know about this betrayal on his ‘suhagraat’ and wants a divorce and wants to marry iccha again,but now Veer’s brother Vansh likes iccha and wants to marry her…iccha agrees to marry vansh meanwhile veer divorces tapasya….and for some reason  vansh kills himself and tapasya gets the blame…since iccha is single again..veer decides to marry her and iccha too agrees(the fiasco continues)…..

Good Thing about the show: Its duration is only  30 minutes

Bad thing about the show :  Its still on air.

Channel : Colors

Balika Vaddhu
The title seems to be misleading, when I saw the show I dint see any ballika but there were quite a few vaddhus.

The Plot : No matter what people say, this show is a saas bahu show,the show started well highlighting the issue of child marriage but months into airing it went to same way most shows go i.e deviate from their original plot & storyline , Dadisa(the saas)  tries her best to make life difficuly for her three bahus…Sumitra,the eldest bahu,Gehna,the  intermediate bahu and Anandi,the youngest(shes the protagonist),while the actors are doing a decent job and what a makes the show somewhat bearable,but what makes it almost unbearable is the background score,every five minutes there's this random music which makes you cover your ears and scream..the producers seem to give every actor equal footage, every week dadisa takes on a new bahu in hopes to revive TRP’s

Good thing about the show : Actors

Bad thing about the show : Misleading title & background music

Channel : Colors

Laagi Tujhse Lagan

Weird Show

The Plot : It is the love story between Dutta Ram Patil a powerful ganster and Nakusha a beautiful girl,wondering what the weird part is ???
Here it is…Nakusha is a beautiful girl,in order to save her from the snare of her neighbors her mother cover her face and her body with kaajal  everyday..you people must see this show and see for yourself..but this secret is revealed and the family decides to flee their village because the village inspector wants to marry nakusha,Dutta (the protagonist) saves them from him and takes these total strangers to his castle like house and offers them work…& I thought ‘bhalai ka zamanna hi nahi hai’

Good Things about the show : kaajal  incident 

Bad thing about the show :  below average acting

Channel : Colors

Saural Genda Phool

Wannabe Show

The Plot : Suhana,a rich,spoilt pampered girl gets married to Ishaan,a middle class guy with qualities exactly different from suhana.suhana who isn’t interested in the marriage is forced into this marriage finds it difficult to adjust with the middle class ways of living…as I said the show tries too hard to be funny,…every 5 minutes  random characters are introduced and dialogues seems to be inspired from the book ‘101 ways to annoy your audience’

Good Thing about the show:  Good Lead Actors

Bad Things about the show : Dialogues and over acting by side actors

Channel : Star Plus

Saath Nibhana Saathiya

AWESOME SHOW

The Plot : This is truly an entertaining show,I truly feel..its a total saas bahu show and it is quite entertaining…The story revolves around Gopi, a simple village girl married in a rich family..her husband Ahem(cool name) hates her, seriously look at things from his perspective if you are a rich guy why would you marry a simple village girl..but the real star of the show is Kookila, gopi’s mother in law and her conflicts with her other bahu Rashi, the evil bahu..As I said the show is really entertaining..the actors do a fine job and the story/concept  is old but sure is fun

Good Thing about the show:  Everything
Bad Things about the show : Only airs for 30 minutes
Channel : Star Plus

Its SMOKIN!!!!!

Let me ask you a question..Name a product which continues to grow without the use of any aggressive direct marketing or advertisement ??
any guesses..well the answer is cigarettes....
no advertisement...no sponsorship ties....still they continue to grow and prosper...any other product would just have become extinct.

Reasons

• They are COOL..(an assumption i made after i talked with some my friends who smokes.)
• They are easily Available...
• and most important they are addictive...so when you have a product like this who needs advertisement.

so you might be wondering,why all of a sudden i am talking about smoking.recently i understood the fact that there's a rise in the number of teenage smokers so i thought i'll do my bit to educate them...well i am not gonna sound preachy(even i hate it even someone does that)nor i am asking people to quit smoking...like my blog is gonna help someone quit smoking..but  it would be cool if someone quits smoking after reading this..

About 30% of my friends smoke as long its their lungs they are burning..i got no problems...but as a non smoker its my duty to ask my friends not to smoke ,but my talks are not addictive enough..so they continue to 'smoke smoke..smoke that cigarette'.
So as a curious non smoker i decided to interview my friend who is a active cigarette smoker and he was gracious enough to answer my question..

Me : when you start smoking..
Smoker : just lighted a few minutes back...

Me :(fake laugh)smokers have a great sense of humor,what i meant was since when have you been smoking. ?
Smoker : about two years...smoking since my senior college days...to be precise..first year of college..

Me : As a non smoker,i wanna ask why do u smoke ?
Smoker : i started smoking coz my friends did it...now i smoke just to pass time..

Me : So your friends forced you to smoke...peer pressure n stuff ??
Smoker : NO....i thought its cool to smoke..(now you know from where the assumption came from)

Me : How much smoke in a  day ?
Smoker : about 7 cigarettes..

Me : Any plans to quit smoking ?
Smoker : (laughs)i already did...quite a few times..!

I am not going to ask people not to smoke coz they will and theirs no point arguing with smokers..if tomorrow someone says chocolates are bad....m not gonna believe them too.Smokers have made their choice and they will stand by it unless it them who really wants to quit smoking..
I don't even see the point having warning on cigarette boxes,everyone knows about the bad effects of smoking and like someones gonna stop smoking by reading those warnings...what need to do is educate our youth...specially the ones in school..EDUCATION is the key...Its the job of our education system to warn the  young kids about the dangers of smoking so that when they are old enough they can choose for themselves..

Statutory Warning : Cigarette Smoking is Injurious to Health
PS : Cancer Cures Smoking.

The 'C' word

so here i am....again..i just updated my blog few days back and was seriously thinking about taking a break from blogging for the whole of this month...but then 'I DINT LIKE YOUR LAST BLOG POST' happened..people said they were bored reading abt all single,relationship crap...huh ?i thought people wanted to read only about them..isn't that the core subject of many women magazines...since my credibility as a amateur blogger was questioned , am here blogging again to show i do think about other important stuff too..
in order to search for topics i decided to watch some news(yeah! i do watch them)...and then came

the hottest topic there is..CORRUPTION!(MY PERSONAL FAVORITE TOPIC)

Firstly if u live in India...u r not new to this word.we have 'jholers'(scamsters)everywhere.everyone one of us somewhere has to face this problem(bribery)...some face it everyday and i don't think this problem can be tackled by drinking tea(remember the 'Jaago Re!' campaign)
so when there was a flood of scams being highlighted by the Indian Media,i wasn't too shocked..
for me it was like 'Oh! Great,the circus begins again'...i even knew the course of action the authorities would take..Cmon this hasn't been the first time such scams have been exposed..and i don't think this is the last of the lott..
The Course Of Action
1) A committee to probe charges
2)Probe would take years..in the meanwhile the alleged 'corrupt' person may have allegedly committed several other corruptions and roams free,continues to fight election and the best part is most of them win..so the message,citizens sending out :no matter how corrupt you are we continue to vote for you..and the the cycle continues..

The Three Big Scandals the media is highlighting is
1)Commonwealth Games Scam
2)2G Scam
3)Adarsh Society Scam

Commonwealth Games Scam :
The Man in question : Suresh Kalmadi
 Frankly,this has been talked for months and i am not going to describe what this scam is all about

about..all i want to say is the scams is of approximately 8000 crores.....

2G Spectrum scam :
The man in question : A Raja
Ironic isnt it...his name is Raja.
According to reports in the media...the government lost approximately Rs 1.76 Lakh Crore in this 2G spectrum scandal..hmm i am weak at maths..but even i know thats a huge amount.since most people dont know abt this scam...i will elaborate
What Happened :In August 2007, TRAI (Telecom Regulatory Authority of India) had set out detailed recommendations, and guided the Telecom ministry to auction the 2G (means 2nd Generation) spectrum, by bidding process..
But A. Raja straight away rejected the TRAI recommendations and instead of auctioning the 2G spectrum licenses, he followed the year 2001 policy of awarding spectrum licenses on first-come-first- serve basis, where prices were fixed in 2001..A report by the government's auditor, the Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG)  has declared that

Raja broke the rules and ignored the advice of the Prime Minister to award licenses at inexplicably cheap prices to companies who should have been declared ineligible.  85 of the 122 licenses issued in 2008 by Raja, the CAG report said, were given to companies who provided false or incorrect information.  Some of these companies went on to sell their licenses at massive profits.  Raja cost the government 1.76 lakh crores, says the CAG report...

Well..u might have heard about the new movie on the Block..
The 2G Network :you can get to 500Bn Rupees without making many enemies


Adarsh Scam :
The Man in Question : Many
Its the new scam on the block..its the scam of the season...what makes it more special..it happened in our own city.

What Happened : On a land where a building was supposed to be built for our Kargil war heroes..some really awesome people(sense the sarcasm) constructed a 30 storey building and the best part is...they distributed it among politicians,their chachas,'aunties',bureaucrats at throwaway prices..
The least we can do for our army men is to give them respect they deserve but some really awesome(sense the sarcasm,again) people haven't heard of the word ethics..

So done with the three scams highlighted by the media...i just need to publish this article as soon as possible before a new scam crops up..and top the people who think i write only about relationships...'I M BACK!'

Single Blues....

Friend : i hate being single
Me : i thought u were with someone..
Friend : yeah! we broke up last week
Me : so u been single for one week n you think it sucks
Friend : yeah! everyone i know is dating someone & i don't want be a single loser..no offence
Me : None taken..

Based on the conversation i had with my friend last week,i got to know two things
1) Dating is now a social status symbol.
2) Since i am single that makes me a loser..

So Being Single...that's one topic i can talk about endlessly coz frankly my relationship status hasn't changed in a long time(real long time) and its not like i don't want to be in a relationship its just being single is more relaxing and once you get used to the comforts of being single you rarely think about the grass on the other side...

So Dating as a status symbol,i believe this is true to an extent,well most people think that way..that got me thinking...who says Singles Suck and people in relationships are cool..who sets the guidelines and then i stumbled upon the answer..MOVIES,TELEVISION(mostly English shows,in Hindi shows the concept of dating doesn't exist)...think about it..if i ask you to name a character from a Movie or a show who's single and happy and cool...u simply cant coz there ain't any such characters and if they exist i don't know about them(if they do..let me know).dnt say Joey from 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S'..u say he's cool look what happened to him at the end of the season he was left jobless & alone...Most Movies portrays singles to be losers,lonely  same is the case for television shows...the central characters cant be single..and even if they are they are desperate for companionship..All you see on shows nowadays is how the gal tries best to woo the 'HOT' guy and then they fall in love and they are HAPPY!...so do i need to be in a relationship to be happy coz thats what the television shows seem to be suggesting..

so back to the core issue,one of the reasons there is a rise in the number of changed relationship status is most people  think its cool to have a boyfriend/girlfriend  or may be people are watching too much of Disney Channel...One of the reasons i am single is its really hard to find a girl who is  intellectual and has a sense of humor..its really hard finding a girl with good sense of humor and when i do find her,she's too intellectual to date me..so back to square one(i really need to rethink my criteria)...my ideal girl should be someone like Tina Fey,funny,talented and intellectual what i am trying to say here is don't be in a hurry to be in a relationship,its not a competition i say it especially to the girls(guys will be guys no point telling them anything) don't force yourself into a relationship,if it meant to happen it will(look at me wise guy talking)

PS : I am single..any single girls do comment :P

Roha Annual Conference...Dombivli's Perspective..

When you put the words ‘Annual Conference’ and ‘ROHA’ together it’s enough for the dombivli MGOCSM members to get excited.. so after all the planning and stuff, finally we were all ready to go to roha & ROCK!...and the good thing this time we weren’t going empty handed, we had a full fledged musical skit to present there and to make our presence felt and when you have something like that you are bound to be excited..and when you get too excited you don’t sleep and when you don’t sleep you talk and when you talk you make jokes and when you make jokes everyone laughs and when everyone laughs you are made to go down and as a punishment you are made to make Identity card of all the delegates present at the conference and here’s the  thing all this punishment stuff was taking place at about 2.00 am at night…All thanks to Ben & his ‘aliyan’ joke..All night Jibi, Joci, Me, Biju, Matthew, Monsu, Subin, Vinu were busy making Identity cards..I really don’t know how to thank Ben(I am being sarcastic here)

Day One
So after the Adventure at night we all woke up,got ready,ben even took bath, now dats a rare occurence. so here we were at roha annual conference after the official inauguration it all began,the song session was good would have really liked if there were more new songs..but what we were more interested in was taking pictures..we took pictures of everything..pic no. 108 specially was good…so when it was time for trekking I was really excited(more pics to upload on facebook) but clearly dombivli guys(I literally mean the guys not the gals) always have something different in store for them instead of the bus which was supposed to take us to the spot we used a tempo I must say I wasn’t really excited about this plan but once it started it was just like a roller coaster ride, and when it started to rain, it’s just the feeling you can’t describe we finally reached the destination only to realize all the others had left and we were there bunch of guys just waiting to freak out(we dint freak out)..all we did was take a few pics and dried our clothes..but man, the view was awesome..sumthing the other guys missed..!  we returned  and got ready for the musical to be presented for the talent night…finally after a last minute rehearsal we were all set to ROCK!...and although I wasn’t performing i was really nervous about the act but seriously the way the guys performed  was just awesome..and such a huge response from the crowd and the chants of ‘ONCE MORE’ shows how much others liked it…all you guys were awesome..Jincy, Jeincy, Joci, Ben, Christy, Rince, Nancy, Sinju and the guy who made it all happen SUBIN..only subin could have managed and made this skit happen..
Day Two:
Same routine as day one…ben took bath! one thing I noticed about ben in this conference is he uses lot of talcum powder...he takes powder in hands and throws it on his face as if he’s whitewashing his face you guys should see the pictures of Ben..so second day same  song session, group discussions .group discussions were really great met a lot of new people and learnt  a lot about the theme of the conference..guess what it rained that evening too and the ‘Tambu’ too fell…really felt bad about that but the organizers managed to keep the program going that’s what I liked.

Day Three :
Traditional Day,since I dint bring any ‘mund’ was thinking of wearing some casual wear but joci was gracious enough to offer me his ‘jubba’..thankss man..There was a potential fight moment between Vinu and Ben over who should get to wear Monsu’s  ‘jubba’…but somehow Ben managed to convince  Vinu  afterall  ben’s a good at convincing people we all know that.. so after the lunch and photo sessions  at the  riverside we were ready to leave…got to the station on time…but missed the train coz it was too crowdy…after the train left….everything went haywire…everyone was shouting at each other..i distinctly remember joci n subin screaming something…and after sometime everyone joined in..finally after some time common sense prevailed and everyone decided to go back…girls got a straight ride to roha whereas guys were supposed to find a way to get there..and here’s  the catch no one knew the address all we knew there was one petrol pump nearby finally after a confusing journey we were back,

Things I learnt about Dombivli MGOCSM members

• Gals fight a lot and there’s groupism :P
• Ben takes bath
• Jincy can Act but Jeincy tries too hard.... :D
• Some couples like taking pictures but hate it when sumone uploads dem on facebook

And on a serious note I would like to say..all you guys and gals are awesome…hope we continue our good work..
PS : there is no pic 108...was juss kiddin :P

BIGG BOSS!

Aim : To ensure TRP’s


Requirements : One maverick anchor,14 jobless celebs,one huge house, one person who can say ‘Bigg Boss chahte hai….’


Product:  BIGG BOSS



There are certain things that get me really excited and one of them is Bigg Boss, I know that reduced my coolness quotient by 45% but I had to say it…no matter how my friends  try to ridicule me the concept of the show really attracts me, so when Bigg Boss came back with a new season I had to write about it. But I was really disappointed by the inmates choosen this season…this season we have inmates who are actors, models, losers and one ex-daaku as well and this time we have two outsourced inmates too as if we dint have jobless celebs in our own country, one smart move the makers made is have Salman Khan as the host, the guy is  maverick, TRP’s guaranteed.

here’s the list of u  don’t know them..

Shweta Tiwari :  Once she used to rule the television screen,now she’s nowhere to be seen(that rhymed!)..Her shot to fame was the television show ‘Kasauti Zindagi Ki’ after the show was pulled off air she seems to have lost her way, she even tried her luck in Bhojpuri films.

Ashmit Patel : Claims to be an actor I don’t know the number of movies this guy has acted in,but he sure has done some work on the small screen(cell phones)..I assume you guys know what I am talking about here.

Manoj Tiwari : Bhojpuri Actor or to be more precise Bhojpuri HERO.

Aanchal Kumar: I seriously don’t know who she is and I am too lazy google her but I think she’s a model and she’s HOT!

Veena Malik : Outsourced loser celeb..Claims to be an actor, was linked to Pakistani cricketer Asif, thinks she’s some sort of a superstar and likes to blow her own trumpet. She sometimes refers to herself as a third person and I find that weird

Begum: Outsourced loser celebrity! Was confused whether to use the word ‘celeb’ here coz I have never heard about him/her (u know its confusing) but think he/she hosts some talk show back home.

Samir Soni : Probably one of the most recognizable faces in the house, tries too hard to be an intellectual all I can say is he chose the wrong show  

Sara Khan : Better known as sadhana from Bidaai,doesn’t act in serials anymore, perfect example of an ‘out of work’ actor, planning  to get married in the Bigg Boss’s house, the things people do to save money

 Seema Parihar : An actual ex-daaku from Chambal, had a movie made on her life.

 Rahul Bhatt: Son of Mahesh Bhatt, the Bollywood Director.He’s no actor, model, no daaku and has no MMS either wonder what’s he doing on the show.

 Hrishant Goswami : Claims to be a model, good looking, well built . Its guys like him who make average guys like me look bad. I HATE him.

 Sakshi Pradhan: winner of Mtv’s  Splitsvilla, but probably gained more popularity from the small mobile screen..Seriously who chooses the inmates?

 Abdul Kazmi : lawyer of Kasab, that’s it.

 Bunty : Although he’s said to be a theif,he never admitted it…the movie ‘Oye Lucky Lucky Oye’ was said to be inspired from him. he was first one to be removed from the house for abusing Bigg Boss.

 Dolly Bindra : Overweight version of Rakhi Sawant,

Caution : listening to her can cause you to lose your  hearing sense

 The Great Khali : does he need an introduction ?

My list of celebs I want to be on Bigg Boss

·         Ekta Kapoor (the only way to stop her from producing any more serials)

·         Ram Gopal Varma (the only way to stop him from directing)

·         Baba Ramdev(for free yoga lessons)

·         S Sreesanth (malayalees,we need representation too)

·         Stone Cold Steve Austin

·         That  hairy guy from Sansani

·         Tiger Woods

·         Nana Patekar

·         Rajnikant