Doggie Style :P

What's going on in this world..Are we as a country so desperate for entertainment that have to find solace in a unscripted,over acted,mindless masala flick..yeah! i am talking about 'READY'.

That's the exact point when i was enlightened,maybe this was the reason i was having all those sleep less nights ..i have to go blog something,it's been so long..,the world is craving my insanely sane thoughts,the world is going crazy,i have do put some sanity back into this world,this world who has made 'READY',a SUPER DUPER BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE,Putting sanity back into this world which thinks Pink is Gay!,Putting sanity back into this world which thinks i am desperate to be in a relationship,Putting sanity back into this world which thinks that the Aishwarya Rai being pregnant is the greatest news of the decade,Putting sanity back into this world which criticises Rebecca Black and hails Justin Bieber

Enough of me being melodramatic.
Back to My usual insane stuff

So who hates dogs..
*raises both hands*
I do.I seriously do..
let me  rephrase that..who hates stray dogs
*starts jumping & raises hands*
I do.I seriously do..

well,i don't really hate them..hate would be a harsh term to use...i dislike them...just the way i dislike tusshar kapoor movies or like working on weekends.

Stray Dogs : a creature resembling a dog,having almost all the personality traits of a dog,but unclean & stupid.(yeah i forgot stray dog lovers & stray dogs who read this might be offended)Woof!

Chal i will admit..i am scared of dogs,stray dogs in particular..firstly if you have a central nervous system and if you have receptive brain sensors you should be afraid of dogs..they have claws,sharp teeth and you never know  what they are thinking,although they sure can help with the obesity problem.,well i think that's the only feature a stray dog has got..

After my considerable research on stray dogs,i have been able to group stray dogs according to its behavioral traits..Here they are

The Hungry Kutta
Looks extremely pitiful..you feed him one day & he'll think you are his personal bitch..he expects you to feed him,bathe him,scratch his belly..he stalks you,follows you every where you go.These dogs like most stray dogs are stupid and cant really differentiate the difference between food & plastic..Occasionally found near your friendly neighbourhood garbage can.

The Haramkhor Kutta
This is the type of dog,Dharmender hates..You feed this dog one day,he'll become your pet,he'll be the best friend you ever had,he'll be there when you need him,he'll be there when you are going through a break up or facing a crisis in your pathetic life,(waise how pathetic would your life be if you have to ask a stray dog for support)..Everything thing is fine till you feed this kutta,the day you don't feed him..he'll turn into a expressionless zombie,i am not talking about Mimoh here...He'll chase you on the roads..he'll pee on your car,he'll shit on your door step..A word of advice from me..Don't ever mess with these guys..

The D'uh Kutta
Seen that dog in your colony who always has his tongue hanging out & acting plain weird
Have you ever seen a dog chase a car,bike..i mean whats going through that stupid dogs head when he does that,may be they are fans of the Fast & Furious franchise..If you are a dog what makes you chase a vehicle which is travelling at 45 km/hr...and WTF! would you do once you catch the vehicle..may be this one of life's unanswered questions..Also what makes dogs hate rag pickers,going by the dogs' expressions i can assume they are scared but WTF! would you follow & bark at someone who scares,if you are scared go hide somewhere you dumb dog.

The Sex Addict Kutta
(Just to be clear,not talking about Shiney Ahuja here)
Is it too late for that joke ??
So you are out on your first date..you want to make the best impression,you try to be funny,decent and then you see these dumb dogs have a 'mate fest' you try to look away but these dogs just keep jumping right in front of you,all you can do in this scenario is close your eyes and expect your date doesn't realise that you are a pervert,well i don't really have a problem with dogs 'going at it',what i have a problem with the ratio,the average ratio of a 'Mate Fest' at a particular time is 15:1:2

15: male dogs
1: female dog(i cant use the b word here)
2 : Your friendly neighbourhood 'moral policing' uncles who throw stones at the dogs,in an attempt to stop the 'Mate Fest'

The Cute Kutta
Well they don't really exist,just like unicorns...you want them to exist but they really don't..how can you expect a stray to be cute..expecting a stray to be cute is like expecting Amy Winehouse to turn sober,but well a stray pup is kinda cute..well if you think about it,if you are the result of a  'Mate Fest' with the ratio 15 : 2,it would be a miracle if you are just turn out to be a normal dog..